Telling Your Story: Admissions Essays Part II

As I said yesterday, the secret to an effective admissions essay is simple: tell a story that no one else but you can tell. Today, I'll focus on ten tips to help you make your essay sing.

1. Focus. Don't try to do too much or tell too many stories in your essay. You have limited space and time to catch the interest of the admissions committee so zoom in on the core story that conveys the most important thing you want them to know about you that they can not find elsewhere in your application.

2. Answer the essay prompt. There are literally hundreds of different essay prompts used by different colleges. Don't try to squeeze an essay that you wrote for one college's essay prompt into a different prompt for a different college. By the same token, pay attention to any limitations on length. While it's Okay to go a few words over the limit, ignoring the word limit entirely is a bad idea. Yes, it's hard to say everything you want to say in 500 words, or 1,000 words...But admissions reps are busy people. Respect their time constraints.

3. Use your own voice. You may have been told in English class not to use the "I" word in your writing. That's true for academic papers, but not for the very personal college essay. Keep this excellent advice from the Carleton College admissions office in mind when you're writing: "Be yourself. If you are funny, write a funny essay; if you are serious, write a serious essay. Don't start reinventing yourself with the essay."

4. Tell your own story. A big problem I see in many essays is that students aren't telling their own stories; rather, they're talking about something that happened to someone else. A good example: a student sent me an essay about tutoring a mentally disabled peer. The problem? About 90% of the essay was spent describing the problems and challenges faced by the peer. By the time I got to the end of the essay, I felt like I knew a lot about him --- but absolutely NOTHING about the person who wrote the essay. I suggested that the writer start at the beginning again, focusing in on what he personally experienced and felt while helping his peer and how he grew or changed in the process.

5. Show, don't tell. This goes back to what I said yesterday about gathering your material. Don't just give us facts: Pull us into the event, experience or emotion you are trying to convey by using story-telling techniques instead of bland statements. If you need help doing this, I highly recommend the excellent chapter on just this topic in College Admissions Essays for Dummies. The author, a high school English teacher does a great job of explaining the differences between telling a story and showing a story.

6. Look for the real beginning. Time and time again, I've read essays where the real beginning lay buried deep in the body of the essay. Start your essay with the kernel of the story - the sentence or example that best captures the story you're trying to tell. Remember, you have limited time to catch the attention of your reader. So, after you've written your first draft, ask yourself which sentence in the essay is the one you most want the admissions committee to read. If it's not at or near the top, move it.

7. Give yourself enough time. Good essays need time to percolate; they shouldn't be written at the last minute. "Some of my friends' kids labor over their AP English assignments and whip off the college essay as if it's not going to be graded," Mike Sexton, Dean of Admissions at Lewis & Clark College told the Princeton Reviewarticle about how admissions committees look at essays. "We read your essays with a pen in hand; it's our job to point out the good, the bad, and the ugly for the next reader."

8. Don't use a dollar word when a nickel one will do. Don't try to impress the admissions committee by pulling out your dictionary and peppering your essay with huge words. Use words appropriately, not to impress. And, while you're at it, avoid using cliches to tell your story. Remember - your essay should sound like you, not someone you think the admissions committee wants you to be.

9. Proofread, proofread, proofread. Then ask someone else to proof your essay again. There is simply no excuse for poor grammar, typographical errors, or spelling mistakes. They will be noted by the admissions reader.

10. Get help if you need it, but choose wisely. I've put this tip last because I honestly believe that only YOU can tell your story. While it may be tempting to use essay writing services (or essay editing services that do more writing than editing!), or ask everyone you know to comment on your essay and suggest changes, the danger is that YOU and your story will get lost in the process. So, don't hesitate to ask for help if you're truly stymied, but do so only after you've taken a solid stab at writing the essay yourself, and choose someone you know and trust. Anyone who offers help should not re-write the essay entirely or make substantial changes but instead should gently lead you to make corrections and revisions on your own in your own voice.

Want to know more? Here are some excellent resources to help you write your essays.
As I've already mentioned, an excellent book on writing college essays is the unfortunately-named College Admissions Essays for Dummies. Written by Geraldine Woods, a high school English teacher, this book starts with an excellent section on the prep work necessary to figure out the story you want to tell. It also has an excellent and thorough discussion about how to understand what different essay prompts are really asking for. Finally, the tips on structure, writing style, and grammar are worth the price.

I also like Harry Bauld's On Writing the College Admissions Essay. Bauld devotes a good section to the importance of knowing and understanding your audience, and also has many good suggestions for how to find your own unique voice and story. Bauld includes more actual essays than the Woods' book.

If you're looking for a shorter and more concise guide to writing college essays, check out Essays that will get you into College by Dan Kaufman, Chris Dowhan, and Adrienne Dowhan. This book covers the highlights of effective essay writing and provides many sample essays.

100 Successful College Application Essays is just that: 100 actual college essays with brief comments from college counselors and admissions officers. Seeing how other students have tackled the college essay can be useful BUT remember, your essay must be YOUR story. The best use for this book is to expose you to a wide variety of essay writing styles to help you uncover what works for you.

Good luck!