ED News Not What You Hoped? Here's Some Advice

You applied Early Action or Early Decision back in November with high hopes of being done with college applications by now. Instead of being admitted, however, you've been deferred into the Regular Decision pool or denied outright. What should you do now?

First, be kind to yourself. Your worth and value as a person hasn't changed one iota. While it stings to be turned down or deferred, you are still the same wonderful and unique person you were when you sent off your application. Don't beat yourself up for something that is truly out of your control.

If you were denied, don't dwell too long on the disappointment. Yes, your dream didn't pan out, but that doesn't mean you can't find a new dream, maybe even a better dream. As quickly as possible, turn your attention to rounding out your college list, bearing in mind that for every student there are actually MANY colleges where they can be happy and successful. Before sending out your application again, ask a trusted adult to review it with fresh eyes, and make changes or additions as necessary.

If you've been deferred into the regular pool, your first instinct may be to focus on figuring out ways to improve your chances when your application is read a second time. I'd suggest a different approach. Focus first on taking a second look at your list and fine-tuning your applications to other colleges. Then, get those applications out. After you've done so, ask your school counselor to call the college which deferred you to ask if there was anything in particular that was missing from your application. Make sure your mid-year report will be sent as soon as possible, send in any supplemental materials that you think might strengthen your case, and send a letter to the deferral school reiterating why it is still your first choice, and, more importantly, what you will contribute to the campus community. But, don't obsess too much. Give yourself permission to fall in love with the other colleges on your list.

Even if you did get good news in the Early round, you may find yourself having second thoughts now that you're committed to attending. You may wonder if you could have gotten into an even better school, or worry that perhaps the college isn't the right school after all. This is normal. It's called buyer's remorse, the tendency to second-guess a choice once it can not be reversed. If you find yourself falling into buyer's remorse, remind yourself that you had very good reasons for applying Early Decision to this particular college, and remember that the grass always has a tendency to look greener on the other side after the fence gate is closed.

If you've been admitted thorugh Early Decision or Early Action, and you are thrilled beyond belief, congratulations! May I suggest, however, that you be sensitive to those around you who may not have received the news they'd hoped for? Offer your support and friendship to them. They still have a long road before April.

Finally, while it may seem that the Early news - whether it be good, bad, or somewhere in between - is the most important event in the world, it truly isn't. No matter what the news is, life will go on. Try to find time to relax and enjoy it.